It’s Not You — It’s Me. I Promise.

It’s Not You — It’s Me. I Promise.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if I didn’t look like a middle-aged mom from suburbia.

Don’t get me wrong — that’s exactly what I am. And I am proud to be me.

But sometimes I think it would be easier if I looked a little more unusual. At least as unusual as I feel on the inside.

This Man has to Cancel Christmas Because of Racism

This Man has to Cancel Christmas Because of Racism

My friend Luis has to cancel Christmas this year because of racism.

Let that sink in for a moment.

I and my white privilege would never have even realized that this was a possibility in someone’s world. Until now.

This Man is Done Trying to Be ‘Man Enough’

This Man is Done Trying to Be ‘Man Enough’

A few weeks ago, I saved a video that I knew I wanted to watch when I had the time. I didn’t want to forget about it, so I put the name of the video and the speaker on my To Do list on my phone as a reminder for when I had a 20-minute break in my day to devote to it.

The video is a TED Talk called, “Why I’m done trying to be ‘man enough’.” The speaker, actor Justin Baldoni, is someone I am not familiar with but I became an instant fan as soon as he started telling his story.

3 Things to Understand When We Are Married to Someone Who Needs More Alone Time Than We Do

3 Things to Understand When We Are Married to Someone Who Needs More Alone Time Than We Do

I need lots of alone time.

Lots.

Boatloads.

For so many years, I felt odd for needing as much alone time as I do. As a child growing up, I remember aunts and uncles coming to visit and remarking to my parents about the massive amount of time I spent in my room alone. They were always so concerned about me and what that meant.

This is why Matt Lauer Broke my Heart & Pissed Me Off more than the Rest.

This is why Matt Lauer Broke my Heart & Pissed Me Off more than the Rest.

My reaction to witnessing the well-deserved comeuppance of powerful sexual harassers lately is probably the same as most people.

In the beginning—with Harvey Weinstein—it was disgust, shock, and horror. Not because I didn’t believe it could happen or even that it wasn’t happening every single day, because I knew that it could, and it was. I think the horror came from the outrageousness of the acts, how long it had been going on, and the extent to which it was covered up by those around him. I was especially naïve about that last part.

When My Soul Wants to Give Up — It’s Time To Breathe, Retreat & Lick My Wounds

When My Soul Wants to Give Up — It’s Time To Breathe, Retreat & Lick My Wounds

I cannot do it anymore.

I cannot be everything to everyone,

While my own Self is gone.

If I am not returning your phone call,

It’s not because I am avoiding you,

It’s because I can’t breathe.

7 Things I Want to Teach my son as he Grows from a boy to a Man

7 Things I Want to Teach my son as he Grows from a boy to a Man

I have a 10-year-old son and as a mom, I have been struggling lately with what I should be teaching him as he grows up and becomes a man.

I am almost constantly overwhelmed and feel completely inept as a parent. That’s no secret. (I often refer to myself as World’s Okayest Mom.) But with my daughter, I feel like I have a fighting chance, at least. I’ve been there. And I have personal experience with at least some of the things that she is going through, or might go through at some point.

But boys? I got nothing.

I worry that I want him to stay my little boy forever and I won’t teach him the things that he needs to learn, as I cling so much to the cuddly boy he is now.

How Many Side Hustles does it Take to Make a Career

How Many Side Hustles does it Take to Make a Career

Five, that’s how many.

No—six! Because I’m still looking for one more.

Have you seen those articles? The ones that encourage you to pick up a side hustle while you’re working your main job?

It could be that you are still in the beginning stages of working towards your dream career while working your steady 9-to-5 job, and your side hustle is the passion project you do on the side. Or it could be that you’re already working your dream job, but you need a side hustle to keep things afloat while that dream career starts to pull its own weight in the payday department.

The Writing Technique I had never heard of & why it is Rocking my World.

The Writing Technique I had never heard of & why it is Rocking my World.

Recently, I heard about a writing technique called “The Kitchen Timer Technique.”

For those of you fully ensconced in the world of writing, it might be old news. But for me—a busy mom and editor whose writing time is precious and scarce—it was revelatory.

I first heard about this technique from Lauren Graham in her book, Talking as Fast as I Can. In it, she describes her own process for writing her book and trying to find the time to write. A friend and colleague, screenwriter Don Roos, shared this technique with her as a way to help her accomplish more in the limited time she had.

When the Man in Front of Me Simply Wants to be Seen.

When the Man in Front of Me Simply Wants to be Seen.

Several weeks ago, I needed to run an errand that took me into the city, where I had an experience that I am still thinking about…and having a hard time shaking.

Since I live about 25 miles outside the downtown Denver area, it’s not often that I have a need to go there, aside from arts and cultural events, or the occasional evening or weekend away. In fact, it’s not often I need to leave the confines of my Mayberry-like suburban town at all. (Or maybe it’s just that all the shuttling of my kids leaves me with precious little time to even think about venturing out further.)

A New and Unexpected Season of Work-Life Balance.

A New and Unexpected Season of Work-Life Balance.

I have come to a season in my life where the phrase “work-life balance” has suddenly taken on a whole new meaning—one I never expected.

A lot of people don’t even like that phrase, work-life balance, since the word “balance” can make it sound like the ultimate goal is to achieve a perfect balance of both work, and the rest of our daily lives. But anyone who has spent any amount of time juggling the different areas of their life, learns very quickly that there will never be a perfect balance.

The Amazingly Unapologetic Woo-Woo-ness of a Falling Leaf---and Me.

The Amazingly Unapologetic Woo-Woo-ness of a Falling Leaf---and Me.

Today, I sat in my sun-warmed car, surrounded by falling leaves, tropical bird sounds, and sadness.

I had an unusual hour of free time after the three hours of errands I had run, and before I needed to pick up my daughter from school. I was close to her school and since it was a beautiful fall day, I tried to think of a park I could enjoy, but I didn’t know of any in the immediate area.

5 Inspiring Social Entrepreneurs who are Making the World a Better Place.

5 Inspiring Social Entrepreneurs who are Making the World a Better Place.

I’ve always been especially inspired by entrepreneurs who have an undeniable urge to make the world a better place. Socially-conscious business owners who are driven more by being of benefit to others than they are by the the bottom line. Who know what their “Why” is and are compelled by it so much so that they develop their career—and sometimes even their lives—around that mission.

I recently went on a web-quest to find some of those socially-minded people who are changing the world, and was so inspired and uplifted by their stories, I wanted to share them with you.

5 Easy Ways to Summon the Sparkle when the Embers Start to Fade.

5 Easy Ways to Summon the Sparkle when the Embers Start to Fade.

That time of summer…

Not when I start to get anxious for the start of school. Not when the soaring temperatures begin to wilt my front-porch flowers, and my hair. And not when the constant picking up of my kids’ wet towels, electronic devices, and crumbs starts to wear on me.

All those things are happening, but they all pale in comparison to the bigger problem. The same one I face every summer, and have yet to find a way to overcome.

Taking Back our Yoga Pants from the Guy in the Pickup Truck.

Taking Back our Yoga Pants from the Guy in the Pickup Truck.

Today, I saw a bumper sticker that should have made me chuckle.

It said, “I love yoga pants.”

This is something you wouldn’t be at all surprised to see in my small, suburban town.

It is a sentiment a lot of women I know would whole-heartedly agree with.

How Sheryl Sandberg can Help us all Learn to Lean into the Suck.

How Sheryl Sandberg can Help us all Learn to Lean into the Suck.

Is it time for you to lean into the suck?

I have been wondering about that for myself recently.

Things have been…hard. This is one of the most challenging times I’ve experienced so far in my life. I suppose some of it comes as a natural by-product of my age and the stage I’m at in life.

Brené Brown defines “White Privilege” for us—& it’s the Best Explanation I’ve Heard.

Brené Brown defines “White Privilege” for us—& it’s the Best Explanation I’ve Heard.

White privilege is a phrase that has been added to my vernacular seemingly overnight.

But I am the first to admit that I have been on the fringe of what has been going on in our country. Not to mention the overt and ongoing racism that so many of my fellow Americans—my fellow human beings—face on a daily basis.

I live in a small town that is sorely lacking in diversity. We chose to live here simply because it reminded me of the small towns in New England where I grew up.

A Powerful Video from Charlottesville about Hate—& 10 Ways we can Fight It.

A Powerful Video from Charlottesville about Hate—& 10 Ways we can Fight It.

I will not look away anymore.

After the violent white supremacists’ rally in Charlottesville this past weekend, that’s what I told myself. I will not look away anymore.

So when I came across this video online today, I forced myself watch it. I want to educate myself. I don’t want to use my ignorance as an excuse for not speaking out anymore.

I’m not going to lie…I wanted to turn it off almost as soon as I started watching. I started asking myself questions to justify looking away.

My Deafening Silence in the Face of Hate.

My Deafening Silence in the Face of Hate.

I am sick to my stomach.

Or, maybe it’s heartsick.

Either way, I have been feeling nauseated all day.

By all the hate.

Out there in the open.

Where, perhaps it always was, but I didn’t see. Maybe I chose not to see.

When the Need for Work Flexibility Leads to Entrepreneurship.

When the Need for Work Flexibility Leads to Entrepreneurship.

I have been a passionate evangelist of flexible work for as long as I can remember. Certainly, long before I had children of my own.

But I am only now realizing how this absolute requirement in my life is leading me, and many others, to become unexpected entrepreneurs.

I remember vividly the day that I had a visceral reaction to inflexible companies, their policies, and the impact they have on our families.